Football officially starts tonight!!
I found this comparing Northern and Southern football. It's pretty good and funny. Although we live in Columbus where THE Ohio State is, the fans here are crazy and love them some football! But of course the traditions are different. On some of the categories I have added in what I have experienced in the midwest. GO VOLS!
Women's Accessories
NORTH: Chap Stick in back pocket and a $20 bill in the front pocket.
MIDWEST: Jerseys, shorts, and tennis shoes
SOUTH: Louis Vuitton duffel with two lipsticks, water proof mascara,and
a fifth of bourbon. Money not necessary - that's why we have boyfriends.
Stadium Size:
NORTH: College football stadiums hold 20,000 people.
SOUTH: High school football stadiums hold 20,000 people.
Fathers:
NORTH: Expect their daughters to understand Sylvia Plath.
SOUTH: Expect their daughters to understand pass interference.
Mothers:
NORTH: Don't care if their daughters know what a football is.
SOUTH: Expect their daughters to buy a new outfit for Homecoming each year and marry a football player.
Campus Decor:
NORTH: Statues of founding fathers.
SOUTH: Statues of Heisman trophy winners.
Homecoming Queen:
NORTH: Also a physics major.
SOUTH: Also Miss America.
Heroes:
NORTH: Rudy Guliani
MIDWEST: Jim Tressel
SOUTH: Paul "Bear" Bryant
Getting Tickets:
NORTH: 5 days before the game you walk into the ticket office on campus
and purchase tickets.
SOUTH: 5 months before the game you walk into the ticket office on
campus, put name on waiting list for tickets, then still have to camp out.
Friday Classes After a Thursday Night Game:
NORTH: Students and teachers not sure they're going to the game, because
they have classes on Friday.
SOUTH: Teachers cancel Friday classes because they don't want to see the
few hungover students that might actually make it to class.
Parking:
NORTH: An hour before game time, the University opens the campus for
game parking.
SOUTH: RVs sporting their school flags begin arriving on Wednesday for
the weekend festivities. The really faithful arrive on Tuesday.
Week of Big Game:
NORTH: Don't even know who they are playing on Saturday.
SOUTH: Make sure clothes are color coordinated, make signs to support the home team, get shakers ready, pray for a victory, and bow down to football players when students see them.
This is too funny, I actually got out our tailgate bin today, loaded it up with cups, koozies, trash bags and counted chairs for next weekend!! I'm soo pumped!
Game Day:
NORTH: A few students party in the dorm and watch ESPN on TV. Wonder why Game Day Live is never broadcast from their campus.
SOUTH: Every student wakes up, has a beer for breakfast, and rushes over
to where ESPN is broadcasting "Game Day Live" to get on camera, cheer tirelessly, and wave banners.
Tailgating:
NORTH: Raw meat on a grill, beer with lime in it, listening to
local radio station with truck tailgate down.
MIDWEST: Brats and Sauerkraut!
SOUTH: 30-foot custom pig-shaped smoker fires up at dawn. Cooking
accompanied by live performance by "Hootie and the Blowfish," who come
over during breaks and ask for a hit off bottle of bourbon. Televisions set up with satellite dishes so that we don’t miss any football games shown before and after ours.
Getting to the Stadium:
NORTH: You ask "Where's the stadium?" When you find it, you walk right
in.
SOUTH: When you're near it, you'll hear it. On game day it becomes the
state's third largest city.
AK once told a Cal fan that he needed to buy ear plugs. The guy then asked if he could buy some, I felt soo bad for him!
Concessions:
NORTH: Drinks served in a paper cup filled to the top with soda.
SOUTH: Drinks served in a plastic cup, with the home team's mascot on
it, filled less than half way with soda, to ensure enough room for
bourbon.
When National Anthem is Played:
NORTH: Stands are less than half full, and less than half of them stand up.
SOUTH: 100,000 fans, all standing, sing along in perfect four-part harmony.
The Smell in the Air After the First Score:
NORTH: Nothing changes.
MIDWEST: chants of OH-IO
SOUTH: Fireworks, with a touch of bourbon.
Commentary {Male Fan}:
NORTH: "Nice play."
SOUTH: "Dammit, you slow sumbitch -tackle him and break his legs."
The guy behind us at our games at UT, who is in his 70s always says "Oh Lordy, come on boys"
Commentary {Female Fan}:
NORTH: "My, this certainly is a violent sport."
SOUTH: "Dammit, you slow sumbitch - tackle him and break his legs."
After the Game:
NORTH: The stadium is empty way before the game ends.
SOUTH: Another rack of ribs goes on the smoker. While somebody goes to
the nearest package store for more bourbon, planning begins for next
week's game....SO TRUE! We always go back to our tailgate spot, eat food, and relax while the traffic is bad!
Happy Football and Labor Day Weekend!
